Just a heads up…I doubt I’ll be posting much over these next two weeks. I’m incredibly sorry, but it’s finals season so I have to study like crazy. :( I know I won’t be completely inactive, but I definitely won’t be able to type much. (I’ll reply to any message that I receive, however.)
Good luck to everyone with finals, too. We’re almost there!! :)
It really bothers me when people look down upon me for the college that I attend. Like excuse me, the last time I checked you weren’t even in college yet so please just stop. I’m sorry you think so highly of yourself that you consider my school one of your “safety schools,” but I love it here and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
So stop being so full of yourself and really just look twice in the mirror.
So every year I end up typing a long rant on what I’m thankful for, but this year as I was typing it, it became more of a reflection upon the whole year, which I kind of want to save for the end of 2013.
So in short, I’m thankful for all of you, for my family, for my amazing friends (both the old and the new), for Tae, for college, for nights that I live for, for the stars in the sky that’ll always remind me of how insignificant some of my problems are.
I’m thankful for everything that my life holds right now, and I wish there were a way to put life on pause that let it continue to be this way forever.
For the past 2 weeks, I’ve had dictionary.com open on my computer in order to search up stressed/unstressed syllables for my fiction/poetry class. And I keep getting incredibly self-conscious when I go to public areas and people can see what I’m doing on my laptop because I’m pretty sure they all think I’m dumb for searching words like “accustomed.”
So so so SO excited to go home in an hour. :) I’m definitely going to miss college, but I’ve missed home so much over these past few weeks.
Today I took my last midterm of the semester at the beautiful hour of 8AM… It was insanely difficult, but it didn’t matter if I took the midterm or not because they drop our lowest grade in the class. Afterwards, I went to get coffee with Steve at Starbucks and then walked over to my writing class!!
Just finished packing and am about to eat lunch. Can’t wait to see everyone. :)
I’m on the edge of my seat, waiting for the moment I can be done with all of this work and head home for Thanksgiving. Everything will be super weird, there’s no doubt about that, but I just can’t wait to see my family and friends again. I’m so tired of college. It’s not that I don’t like it here, but I’m just constantly beyond stressed. I’m sick of this routine and the never-ending workload. A girl just needs a break once in a while.
I also feel like I don’t really laugh here. I don’t know if I just haven’t found the right friends yet or what, but I feel so much closer to my high school friends than my college friends. I don’t know if we just got along better or if there was just less drama or if we had the same senses of humor, but I feel so much better when I’m with my friends back at home.
Maybe I’m just incredibly homesick right now, but I wish I could just rewind everything back to senior year and relive it all over again. You just don’t realize how much everything means to you until it’s all gone.
In the midst of this week of losing myself and breaking down, I just found this video. I don’t know how I’ve gone so many months without stumbling upon it, but it’s one of the most inspiring videos I’ve seen in a while.
Lots to think about. And lots of new rants I want to write in the near future.
Last night I was up until 6:30AM. Not because I was studying (although if I had known I wouldn’t have been able to fall asleep, I would’ve continued to study…) but rather because I had insomnia again.
I haven’t really had insomnia in years because I’ve been so insanely sleep deprived, but for some odd reason, I was wide awake. I ended up only getting like 1.5 hours of sleep so I drank some more coffee in the morning and now I’m fully awake again.
I know I’m living my dream where I can sleep so little and not get tired, but all of this probably isn’t healthy.
College is a mixture of doing what you’ve never done before and exploring your comfort zone. It’s most definitely not all fun and games, and you might feel completely out of place. The key isn’t to shut down and think that nothing will go right, rather it’s to move forward and onward. There will be a time when your life will be worth all of those sleepless nights, all of that pain.
The time might not be now, but it’ll come. If you fail once, try harder next time. And in the end, you’ll end up where you belong.
I stopped by the Asian frat for less than half an hour just to check it out with some of my friends. (I got invited to rush for the Asian sorority, but I wasn’t too sure about it so I skipped.) I got to meet some people, but in all honesty, it wasn’t too great. I feel like hanging out with people when they’re sober is so much better than when they’re drunk. That being said, I didn’t even look at a drink let alone drink one. Still not my thing.
But because today is technically October 26th, HAPPY 6 MONTHS to Tae and me. :) I’m so sad that I have a ton of midterms so I can’t see him, but I’m so glad we’ve made it this far and are happier than ever. <3
Despite all of the sleepless nights and the INSANE amount of work I have to do (guys, they did not joke about it when they said that school was hard here), I really do like it here. I just wish that sometimes things would slow down for a bit.
For my final fiction piece, I had to write comments about everyone else’s fiction pieces, too. Our teacher compiled all the comments together and sent them to us just now and here’s one that I received and think is the sweetest thing in the world:
"Wow. Wow. At the end of this story…I just had to sit back and marvel at how fantastic this piece was! Love it. Great job!"
I wish I knew who it was so I could say thank you a million times.
I’ve been here for a little over a month and a half, and I’m not going to lie, my life has changed drastically. Despite the fact that I’m now in college living a few hundred miles away from home, a ton of things have become different on their own.
I’m in such a state of writer’s block right now. :( I feel SO disconnected from writing, and it really really sucks. I’ve written a bunch of stories over the past 1.5 months so maybe I’ll post one of those if I’m up for it (if any of you are interested?? I don’t know if you would be…). But I promise that I’ll post some writing soon. :)
I take a writing course called “IFP” (Intro to Fiction/Poetry) here at school, and we all had to write a final fiction piece to wrap up the first half of the semester! We basically wrote a story a week and then chose the one we wanted to expand. But because of fall break, we don’t have class tomorrow (idk why we’re using a Monday schedule tomorrow lol) so we had to e-mail them out to everyone in the class (we workshop each other’s stories). Sorry if you interpreted it differently. :( But if you’re thinking about coming here for school and into creative writing, I totally recommend the class!! It’s kept me writing throughout this crazy transition into college period.
I am currently blogging from…HOME! I went back last night, and it makes me kind of sad because everything feels different already.
Fall is in the air—the leaves are falling down and I can feel my fingertips chilling. I love this season so much. I just can’t wait until the tropical depression goes away. My rain boots have been put to so much use over the past week.
I can’t wait to start writing more here. I feel so bad because I’ve been neglecting Tumblr like crazy over the past month and a half, but things are settling down. College is super SUPER stressful, but I’m determined to make it through! Good luck to all of the high school seniors applying to schools, you’ll all be great. :)
And on that note, I need to go shopping, eat a ton (come on, I am now back with Wawa and endless Chinese food), make birthday cards, and study study study. And of course, happy birthday, Andrea!! :)